Experimental chatter

Go to party. Flirt. Look away when I see my shiny, gross face in toaster reflected. Look down at kitchen tiles. brown and green, glossy. ugh. see no one cool. dab my face so it appears more matted. cute boy. cute girl. ask what time it is. but cute boy is with cute girl. somone asks why i never say anything first. i say i dont know. i walk away. i leave. bagel shop open till 5 am. never heard of that. eat a plain one, lightly toasted. butter. orange juice. manat register keeps trying to give me the old eye. i shake my head furiously and leave. itch my left arm. my lipstick is pink, ice pink. too light. i want a new look. boy on street whistles. i dont care. i go home, forget to wash makeup off my face, sleep for 3 hours, dreaming of something, i dont remember. i wake up, shower a little, but dont feel like washing my hair which smells like pot. throw on a new hoodie and ripped jeans. leave my phone at home. dont check missed calls. dont care. i hate ugly people on busses. they make my breakfast come up. i avoid the bus today, but i take the train. smells like urine from a gross girl. bitches. get to downtown. leave before i get there. no money to get back home. visit a friend at work and mooch off a five. take train home and with extra change, buy a hot chocolate. drink two sips, it tastes like fat, throw the rest away. get to friend's apartment, talk to him, he sucks at talking. finally go home, and check missed calls but dont care. still.